“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~Jim Rohn
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. ~Proverbs 13:20
This is part 2 of the 5-part series. Click here to read part one: Watch Out! These 5 Things Are Ruining Your Confidence, Your Focus and Your Energy
Do you remember your mom or teacher telling you “beware the company you keep” or “choose your friends wisely”? Instead of telling you directly to stop hanging out with those people, they gave a soft warning or a heads up. Whether it was a certain group of friends or a guy you had the hots for, most of the time, the adults in your life knew better and were right about those people.
As adults, we don’t always have someone looking out for us to warn us of bad relationships before they go on for too long. Learning to check ourselves takes wisdom. I included the Jim Rohn quote above, because not only is a like a parent’s warning, but it also suggests we take a look at the 5 people we spend the most time with.
So, I’ll ask you this: Who’s in your inner circle?
Who do you spend most of your time with? Are they adding value to your life? And since relationships go both ways, are you adding value to theirs? This is where the rubber meets the road. Take a moment to seriously think about who you give your time, your attention, your resources and your money to. Really think about it. Write down the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Now ask yourself: “Are these people making me happy or satisfying me in a way that I can honestly say they are worth the investment?”
I don’t mean “worth” from a personal, judgmental perspective. I mean take a look at whether or not you are sincerely happy with the way the relationship is going and then make adjustments to your time or resources based on whether or not you are both benefiting from it. Now if you’re helping a friend who is in need – this won’t apply. But it can certainly apply for everyone else in your life, including your spouse, boss, friend, mentor or coach, business partner, team member, employee or even your parents.
The Million Dollar Question
Now that you have identified the people you are spending the most time with…
Do you like what you have become as a result of hanging around them?
If not, it’s time to make some changes! There is nothing more satisfying than surrounding yourself with positive people who can build you up and strengthen your confidence. The people who genuinely want to see you succeed and let you truly be yourself are rare and priceless. Building relationships with true friends, colleagues or business partners can be challenging. What I have learned is the best way to find positive people who are willing to be in your court is to BE that person to someone else. Here’s what Jim Rohn’s quote doesn’t tell you: we attract the people we are most like into our worlds. When we learn to be our best, we’ll attract better quality people into our lives. Don’t you agree?
Stay tuned for Part 3 in this series: You Better Watch Your Mouth.